Jason Alexander as George Castanza
As mentioned, I’m kind of blasting through these as the contest deadline looms, which I feel a bit bad about as it’s not quite the spirit of the thing. At the same time, even though I’ve been too busy and all-over-the-place to post about it, I have in fact been reading and digesting all of these lessons over the past few weeks and things have been percolating, so now it’s really just a matter of writing down some of the results of that process.
And so: Chapter 8 is all about live networking – you know, the old fashioned kind where you actually meet people face to face and interact with them in person. Strange concept, I know, but most business used to work that way and if the truth be told, much of the important stuff probably still does.
On one hand the circumstances of my life present me with some obstacles in terms of doing this effectively. Firstly, I live in a foreign country. I have lived in Germany for over 10 years now, and my command of the language is not spectacular… actually, in Barth Gimble’s memorable phrase, it gives “new meaning to the word adequate”. Somehow it’s never been enough of a personal priority and the work I have had here has never really required it. Add to that being a very involved and more-or-less-full-time parent, and putting in more-or-less-full-time hours at night building and managing the online platform as previously discussed, and I am left with very few opportunities for effective live networking.
That said… of course I do meet people, and you never know when or where you’re going to make a connection that will open a door, so it’s really not a bad idea to be ready to rock those opportunities in a more effective way. I am learning gradually, and this chapter spells it out pretty clearly, that much of this has to do with mindset.
On one hand, it’s essential to be clear on what you want, but at the same time it’s suicide to go into every meeting with guns blazing talking about yourself and your work and handing your business cards out to everyone within arm’s reach. Ariel’s book gives us a simple, practical blueprint for a more effective tactic, and I think the best way to look at it is to channel George Castanza and Do The Opposite.
Do The Opposite!
Independent artists and musicians are often desperate people. We have never found the success that we know our talent and our work deserve. So when someone comes into our field of view who we see as a ‘gatekeeper’, someone who has the keys to unlock the secret passage to success that we’ve been searching for, our instinct is to pounce. After all, this might be our only opportunity! We have to get our message across, make sure they remember us, so (of course) the way to do this is to tell them All About what we do and why it’s so cool.
This doesn’t work.
Perhaps they run screaming from the room, perhaps they listen politely and take the card, but all the while they are thinking to themselves, what a pushy, self-centred bore. And the business card or the demo CD or whatever go straight into the circular file. Why would they want to work with someone so obnoxious?
And so we retreat and lick our wounds, bitter at the unfairness of it all, until we stumble across someone else we think could help us, and we do the same thing all over again.
The main takeaway from this chapter for me was this: don’t keep doing that. It doesn’t work, and doing it has gotten me exactly where I am now – which by definition since I’ve bought this book and am working through it, could be better. Continuing to do it will keep delivering the same results. I believe this pattern probably describes at least half the independent musicians and artists in the world, who would like to be ‘doing better’ but squander every opportunity for live networking by enacting more or less exactly the scenario described above.
What’s the solution? Do The Opposite. Instead of talking, listen. Instead of giving out business cards, ask for them (and of course, give them if and when asked). Instead of blathering on about our work and what this person might be able to do for us, ask questions. Listen and learn. As Ariel puts it, “The more that they talk, the more memorable you are!”
But all the while, know what you want.
